ENLIGHTENED

Something my sisters were discussing reminded me of a moment of clarity I had a while back, and I wanted to share. It's probably about time I remind myself again...

I had a long talk with Frank several months back as I was melting down over all the perceived pressures to be so much more than I am. One of the "ah-hah" moments that occured during the conversation was that I've always tried to make goals or schedules or whatever based on what I perceive are the things I need to do to be better. But I get so easily overwhelmed because the list stretches out soooooo long. Frank suggested that I needed to have the Holy Ghost as a partner to help me not run faster than I have strength, but to help me decide what baby step I need to take first. Heavenly Father knows better what I'm able to accomplish at what time, and the things that are more important than others to be focusing on at any given time. It was kind of a "duh" moment too. I guess I just always thought I'm well aware of my shortcomings, and could I just get over them already?! That's what Heavenly Father expects of me, so I'll just ask for help to be better. But I didn't break it down enough to ask for specific help. So the laundry list simply overwhelmed me, and I quit. And I also realized that things like being better at keeping the house clean are ABSULOTELY important to Heavenly Father, because it makes me feel better about myself, and when I feel that way, I'm able to feel the spirit more easily. It's all interconnected. So I can go ahead and ask for help to keep my kitchen clean, or have the energy to get up early to go walking, or whatever. He wants to help me with things that help me be a better person, even if it's not "exactly" spiritual.

So, Frank suggested that I needed to pray to decide on ONE thing ONLY that I could begin working on, and then make that a habit. The one I decided on was to keep the dishes cleaned up as I go - i.e. don't leave dishes in the sink until tomorrow morning, but take the 5 minutes after dinner while Frank's getting the girls ready for bed. I am pleased to say that I've done SO much better at it, and I have felt so much better about myself in the process. Of course, that laundry list yells at me pretty loudly at times, but I know the way to cut it down to size now. With help! Thanks for helping me understand that, wonderful husband!