ENLIGHTENED

Something my sisters were discussing reminded me of a moment of clarity I had a while back, and I wanted to share. It's probably about time I remind myself again...

I had a long talk with Frank several months back as I was melting down over all the perceived pressures to be so much more than I am. One of the "ah-hah" moments that occured during the conversation was that I've always tried to make goals or schedules or whatever based on what I perceive are the things I need to do to be better. But I get so easily overwhelmed because the list stretches out soooooo long. Frank suggested that I needed to have the Holy Ghost as a partner to help me not run faster than I have strength, but to help me decide what baby step I need to take first. Heavenly Father knows better what I'm able to accomplish at what time, and the things that are more important than others to be focusing on at any given time. It was kind of a "duh" moment too. I guess I just always thought I'm well aware of my shortcomings, and could I just get over them already?! That's what Heavenly Father expects of me, so I'll just ask for help to be better. But I didn't break it down enough to ask for specific help. So the laundry list simply overwhelmed me, and I quit. And I also realized that things like being better at keeping the house clean are ABSULOTELY important to Heavenly Father, because it makes me feel better about myself, and when I feel that way, I'm able to feel the spirit more easily. It's all interconnected. So I can go ahead and ask for help to keep my kitchen clean, or have the energy to get up early to go walking, or whatever. He wants to help me with things that help me be a better person, even if it's not "exactly" spiritual.

So, Frank suggested that I needed to pray to decide on ONE thing ONLY that I could begin working on, and then make that a habit. The one I decided on was to keep the dishes cleaned up as I go - i.e. don't leave dishes in the sink until tomorrow morning, but take the 5 minutes after dinner while Frank's getting the girls ready for bed. I am pleased to say that I've done SO much better at it, and I have felt so much better about myself in the process. Of course, that laundry list yells at me pretty loudly at times, but I know the way to cut it down to size now. With help! Thanks for helping me understand that, wonderful husband!

cute kids

Leah had her first talk in primary today, and she was SO excited. Well, she was supposed to have one a couple of months ago, and since I'd packed my brain away in a box, I forgot. So ever since then, Leah'd been asking when she'd have a turn again. Well, she finally got her shot. Frank helped her with the whole thing. It was about following the prophet, so he had her talk about how the people who followed Noah were kept safe. And the same happens when we follow the prophet today... You get the point. So he had her draw a picture of Noah and the ark (I'll have to scan it tomorrow to show you). It was truly awesome. Noah was there in the ark, along with the big steering wheel. There was a giraffe, a couple of mermaids and a princess, a bad guy drowning, but he had a smile on his face because he changed his mind to be a good guy... So Frank had her explain her picture to everyone, and she spoke so clearly for everyone to hear (after a one-time reminder to speak up from Dad). He then asked her why she had drawn the picture, hoping that she'd say something like, "to show how the people who followed the prophet were kept safe...", but she said, "because you told me to." I so love that kid! She did a great job, and I was very proud of her.

She's become a big fan of praying lately, which is cool. Today as we were leaving church, she said that they had forgotten to say the closing prayer in her class, so she said "I'll just say one here in the car real quick."

And again a couple of nights ago, we got home and were getting in jammies. Wait, let me provide a little background before this: a couple of nights before, she had gotten her new Tinker Bell jammies soaking wet somehow (I guess it was because she put them down in the sink when she was going potty, and maybe left them in there when she washed her hands). Anyway, this was to be her first chance to wear the new jammies, so she put them on regardless of the wetness. I discovered this and told her to take them off so I could throw them in the dryer for a few minutes. Well, all Hades broke loose. No amount of me telling her that it would only be for a couple of minutes, that she would still be able to wear them, would console her. So she got threatened that if she didn't stop throwing a fit, she'd not be able to wear them at all that night. Well, she kept it up, so I had to stick to my guns and tell her that she could have the chance to wear them the next night, but that she'd lost her opportunity for that night. So, back to the story... As she's getting ready for bed, I heard just the end of a very quiet prayer she was saying to herself, and asked what she'd been praying about. She told me that she'd seen that the jammies shirt was a little dirty, so she prayed that it would come clean so that it wouldn't have to go in the dryer again. And I never did see that it was dirty at all, so maybe that kid's faith is strong enough to have gotten her shirt miraculously clean. So sweet. She also prays every time she has an ow-ie now so that it can get feeling better, and she knows that it doesn't always get feeling better right away. I think we could all take a lesson from such simple faith. What a kid.

GIVE ME STRENGTH

So I was in the middle of cooking dinner last night, and Bekah came to me with my deodorant in hand, and said, "It's yucky, mommy," and there were little teeth marks in the top. Oh child. So I look on the label, and of course it says if swallowed, call poison control immediately. Great. Well, my first official poison control call went well. The lady actually chuckled a bit when I told her, and one thinks that she must've known a couple of two-year-olds in her time. So we get Bekah to drink a little water, make sure that she hears us say never to do that again - about 14 times (during one of which she grabs for some of Leah's medicine with a twinkle in her eye, and has to get a little hand slap), and we go back to our lives...

Finish with dinner prep, go do retrieve the girls for dinner time, and find Bekah in my bedroom eating a cough drop. Oh my gosh child!!! Do I need to hogtie you?! Don't think I won't!

With Leah, we told her once, MAYBE twice about something to remind her, and she'd never even think of doing it again. Early on, we had adopted the philosophy of not baby-proofing your house, but house-proofing your baby - setting limits and then expecting them to comply. That just doesn't quite compute with Thing Two. But I'm still sold on the philosophy, and am determined to get through her devious little skull. We just have to up the discipline ante. So I'm steeling myself for being mean mom for the next, well, however long it takes. And if that doesn't work, some traveling gypsy troop is... no, that's not even nice.

And Leah... she's getting moody. And bedtime is a major struggle lately. (Just so we don't all think that Leah never does anything wrong...) But there's no good story related to that, so that's all I'll say about that. But her tummy STILL hurts! And mostly when she's in time out, or needing to go to bed and she doesn't want to. So while she's not one to make up symptoms - she's always been very honest - she IS one to be a bit on the dramatic side at times... All the same, it's been 3 weeks, and I guess I need to call the doc again today. I'm guessing she may be stressed from the move or something.

I tell you, I've been really blessed. I haven't totally lost it during this whole thing. I mean, moving's bad enough, but we had Frank and the girls sick for 2 weeks, Frank working like a crazy man, I lost my wallet (didn't mention that...), Bekah's pushing all of her limits, Leah's stressing out and being cranky to the max... and I've been able to keep it together. AND (knock on wood) I never got sick. I sure was sick OF the smell of puke, but that's normal... So I'm thankful. No asylum for me.................. yet.

STILL TIRED... zzz...zzzz...

Well, it's almost a week since we closed on our house. We've been living with the Curtises for a full week now, and in that time, the kids have thrown up 12 times (or so), Bekah's had diarrhea for 3 days, (think poop on my arm and dripping on their carpet), and Leah's been constipated, so her stomach still hurts. Chad (the Curtis dad) suggested that we try giving Leah a fish oil pill to help things, um, slide out easier. Well, we tried that yesterday, and then during her quiet time, she made a trip to the bathroom. I asked her how it went, and she told me that "a big poop came SHOOTING out into the potty" complete with a swooshing hand motion. Priceless. Her tummy still hurts a bit today, so we're going to do another pill. So all that's going on, and Frank's been slammed with projects, so the girls have been sleeping in our room since he's been working into the night in the office, which is the girls' room. So between all that, and trying to keep everything picked up all the time since it's not our house (and honestly, it's a good habit for me to try to get into - I'm not the best house keeper in the world), I'm a bit exhausted and approaching overwhelmed. But the girls seem to be feeling a bit better today, so maybe we're on the way out of the woods.

Gosh, this blog is not intended to just be a laundry list of complaints. I just realized that I've done a lot of complaining so far. Well, let's put a positive note out there. We had our pre-construction meeting for our house yesterday, and the builder project manager told us that we're looking at a late June end date, possibly earlier. We're SOOOOO excited. It was awesome to walk through the model again and plan out where we're going to place furniture, etc. We've actually been so blessed through this whole process. Our house sold in 19 days, which in such a tough market right now is remarkable. We weren't prepared when we started this process to have to come up with a 5% down payment, but, as I mentioned, Frank has been slammed with work lately, which, while hard for all of us in some ways, means that we've been able to make that 5%. It's quite amazing how the Lord opens up the way for you sometimes. We really feel like this is what we're supposed to be doing, and He just seems to be removing obstacles left and right. I'm so very thankful.

So I took the girls to the library yesterday for some books, and I checked out several books on window treatments. I've fallen asleep almost every night thinking about how we're going to decorate the house. I can't wait! Oh, here's the virtual tour of a model that's the same floor plan as our new house. The front will be different, but the layout inside will be the same.
http://tour.circlepix.com/tour.htm?id=589411&refurl=by126w.bay126.mail.live.com.


It'll look similar to this on the outside, but with darker siding and dark rock on a good portion of the front and dormer windows above the garage. It's going to look so awesome, and I'm so excited to have that full front porch. So very southern. :)

Okay, the kids are needing my attention. Fortunately not because poop is dripping anywhere this time. Just could use some interaction. I think I can handle that today... :)