My Life Flows On in Endless Song

Bekah is hilarious

2011-01-08T22:31:00.002-05:00

I have to write this before I forget... again. This probably happened 4 or so months ago, and I was reminded of it tonight. I'm trying to remember exactly how it went, because it was so funny. Leah, Bekah and I were playing Yahtzee one day. Bekah was on some crazy lucky streak. She kept rolling large straights. I told her about my grandpa Madsen, and how he used to whisper to the dice to give him good luck (one of my favorite memories of him). And so she decided to follow suit. She grabbed the dice for her turn, brought them up to her mouth, and whispered, "Sometimes I don't like you." Ah, the inner workings of a 4-year-old's brain.

Our sweet Leah

2010-04-07T12:02:00.005-04:00

Leah has a new hobby. The other day, I came down from quiet/nap/feeding Hannah time, and Leah surprised me by having made dinner. She was positively beaming as I came over to see what she had made. She called it pizza, and it was a tortilla with salsa, cheese and walnuts (since we didn't have any pepperoni). She also put out some pineapple and cherries in case we wanted to add that to the top. She made one for me, one for her and Bekah to share, and one for Frank - without the cheese. What a sweet surprise. We praised and adored her, and choked down the concoction, and she was thrilled. She said that she felt like she was serving me by making dinner, and it made her feel so good. How do you argue with that?

So the next day, she was beaming again when I came down at the same time. This time, there were tortillas, craisins, celery and cheese. Since Frank can't eat the cheese, he got cracker crumbs. I neglected to take a "before" picture, but here's the "after" of Frank's plate. That night there was a dessert of hoagie buns topped with cottage cheese and marshmallows (more craisins in the place of the cottage cheese for Frank).

The next day, after much praise and thanks and beaming again, she informed us that she'd be making dinner again that night. I suggested that she could help me, or that I would at least supervise, and she was not happy with those options. She loved the service aspect of the surprise. But I convinced her that she needed a little supervision this time, so she would wait till after I fed Hannah. Well, I came down to a surprise of a salad topped with LOTS of walnuts and craisins. She did allow Frank to barbeque some chicken as a "side" for her salad.

Two days later, here's the surprise I came down to:

Ingredients: tortilla (that package is almost gone...), crushed up Cheez-its, pieces of hoagie bun and chicken flavored TVP (textured vegetable protein - think Bac-O's. It's a food storage thing a friend of mine shared with me because I was interested in how it tasted.) It was for the family, but, as you see from the tag, "Not Dad" because of the cheese. Dad had a late meeting that night anyway, so she made him a hot dog when he got home. Not cooked...

Oh, and another salad. Quite good actually.

And yesterday, yet another surprise. We had painted some easter eggs on Monday, and I, trying to capitalize on the cooking fervor, taught the girls how to make egg salad sandwiches on Tuesday. We included some paprika. So, Leah felt a certain level of comfortability with spices, having thoroughly loved the egg salad we made together. Enter paprika and red pepper into our surprise last night...

Leah was NOT happy with this dinner. What? Spicy? Hmmm. Lesson learned. We put a positive spin on the whole thing by telling her that even Rachel Ray probably isn't happy with every recipe she tries to make up. She may let me supervise her from now on...

My kid is hilarious

2010-02-26T09:26:00.000-05:00

So Rebekah wanted to wear a "ballerina outfit" today. She found a dance suit thing in Leah's drawer that she wanted to wear, and I told her it's now too small for Leah, so she could have it. I introduced her to the term "leotard". She got all upset and said, "But you said I could have it now. It's not a Leah-tard. It's a Bekah-tard." And then she got even more upset that Frank and I were laughing our heads off at her.

What's this? A post?

2010-01-17T22:38:00.002-05:00

So, it's been a long time since my last lame post (which did get me a $10 gift card for food storage stuff, so not too shabby...), but I think I need to break off my internet silence, and actually write something. It's not like it's a hard thing to do, right? So why don't I just suck it up and do it more often?

Anyway, I had to write about Bekah's cuteness before I forgot. We were driving to the library story time last week, and she asked why I always got to drive, and she just have to sit in the back all the time. I explained to her that I am the only one of the two of us who KNOWS how to drive, so I think it just makes sense. That led her to say that when she's a teenager (a golden time that she looks forward to with MUCH anticipation), she'll be able to learn how to drive, and then she'll get to get her "Driving Slices." After a moment's thought, she said, "Mom, what IS a driving slices?" My kid is too cute for words!

In other news, I haven't had my baby yet, but I'm sure as heck ready. I really was shooting to have her yesterday, the 16th, which would have covered all the 6's in January (Leah's b-day is the 6th, and Bekah's is the 26th). You can see how cool that would've been. Too bad Hannah didn't agree. So after spending all day yesterday moping around, I've been trying to convince myself that it doesn't really matter what day she comes. That I've not actually missed my opportunity, and that she WILL come out of me at some point - and in the near future no less. And even IF she's born on a school day, we'll all survive (that's Leah's big anxiety right now - to the point of tears a couple of times - she is so worried about someone other than me of Frank picking her up from school... Oh, what to do about my sweet little Martha?).

And having a great day at church helped me adjust my attitude. I just love when that happens. Church is a great place to regain perspective and get over your bad self sometimes. I'm so thankful to have it in my life, and to be a member of the world's best ward.

Okay, I think I just heard the pitter-patter of little feet upstairs, and there was no flushing of little potties, so I think Bekah's not been staying in bed like a good girl - it's ten minutes to 11 here. Someone's getting a little talking to... (Well, maybe she'll sleep in tomorrow morning...)

Good night y'all.

2009-11-08T18:27:00.002-05:00

In order to win a $10 gift card from Emergency Essentials, I'm reviewing their Food Storage Analyzer.

This is a tracking system like many out there, where it shows how much you have, and gives recommendations of what you have left to buy. The nice thing about this one, is that it includes nutritional values and links directly to where to buy the products you are missing. I would not recommend getting everything through Emergency Essentials - you can get many things lots cheaper through the LDS cannery or Walton Feed. However, for convenience, and smaller purchases, I've really liked Emergency Essentials. They have one of my two favorite powdered milks, the Provident Pantry Nonfat Instant dry milk. It tastes as close to the real thing as I've found.

I do recommend that you look at the church's web site for their recommendations on what to store, rather than rely solely on a store's recommendations. Of course, they're going to want to sell you as much as they can, as that's their business. So, always one for unbiased, I do suggest you stick with the church's guidelines, at least to get you started with the most important stuff.

All said and done, I think this is a good tool, and would recommend it to friends. (Now send me my $10 gift card so I can buy more milk...)

On my way to "Big as a HOUSE"

2009-07-26T19:59:00.002-04:00

So here's the deal. I have a baby growing inside of me. I also have a fibroid tumor (NON-cancerous) growing inside of me, and it's currently taking up way more room than the baby. My doctor found it when I was pregnant with Bekah, and it didn't cause me any problems at all. We fast forward to a few weeks ago, and I start googling "I'm only 7 weeks along, and growing WAY too fast..." I just finally put it out of my mind with "It's my third child" and "I've always carried way big" and "I'm just that much more woman to love..." Well, fast forward again to my 12 week appointment, where my doctor goes to check the heartbeat for the first time. She feels around on my tummy to get the right position, and is SHOCKED that I'm as big as I am. Reading her response, I said, "Is it twins?" She said that I was measuring at a 16-week size, and that she'd like to do an ultrasound right away. Yikes. It's then that I remember and mention to her my fibroid. Well, it's probably just that. Can we just wait till the normal ultrasound (since I'm paying for it...)? No, I think we should have a look now. Besides, then we'll get a really great heartbeat, and you can call your husband and let him hear.

So they get me in right away. Lucky scheduling break for me. The sonographer takes a look, and finds that lovely fibroid, which a friend decided I should call "Bob", and says that it's the size of a large grapefruit. It's doubled since we last saw it (4 years ago). I go back to the doc, and, okay. We know that the baby's the right size. Has a strong 162 beats per minute heartbeat, and looks totally healthy (although too young to see any "parts"). Whew! And we are just going to "keep an eye" on Bob. It's at the top of my uterus, which we knew from Bekah's pregnancy, so it won't get in the way of delivery. Although, since it's so big, it has the possibility of tricking the uterus into thinking that the baby is big enough to deliver, so a possible pre-term issue. And though it's non-symptomatic now, it may one day start to cause issues/pain/etc. So we're keeping an eye on it.

And then stupid old google tells me that these things could possibly be cancerous, and this lady had to have a total hystectomy, and these ladies had miscarriages because of theirs, and BLAH BLAH BLAH. I've tried to be calm and just take my cues from the doctor, who's not overly worried. But you know how google can get to you sometimes...

So, I asked Frank for a blessing today. I've been generally calm and level-headed, and peaceful when I've prayed, but I just wanted an added boost of peace for anything that might come up. And boy, I don't know how people get by without being able to hear from their Heavenly Father through a righteous man. I was told that He is very aware of me, what's going on with my health and my body, and that this baby has been sent at this time to be a member of my family. I will be able to deliver without incident, and these things will not cause me problems. If any issues do arise, my doctors and my faith will enable me to overcome them. I was also blessed with the physical, emotional and spiritual strength to get me through bringing this child to Earth.

It was so wonderful. Just what I needed. Heavenly Father knows me. I KNOW that. I wasn't SO worried, but I don't know where things will progress, and how worried I may get. And He just went ahead and removed the worry from the whole process for me. I'm so very thankful.

And one other added bonus: when the stupid people ask if I'm giving birth to a horse, or if I'm SURE it's not twins, or if I'm going to go into labor TODAY, I can now say, "No, I just have one baby and a giant TUMOR!" and then they will feel really bad!!! Mwahahahahah!

Happy Summer

2009-07-13T10:15:00.003-04:00

So we had a barbeque (which I think should be pronounced "barbek") the other night with some neighbors. I neglected to cover every inch of my children with bug spray, and this is my come uppance:

Sorry Bekah.

This is what she told me this morning, "I had a good night's sleep last night. But something happened to my eye."

Anyone else have this problem?

2009-05-31T22:35:00.005-04:00

I don't write much in my blog. I don't read many other people's blogs either (it's nothing personal I swear - let me 'splain). I guess it's because, well, for one, I'm lazy. But the number 2 (I just said number 2) reason is that everyone else's blog makes them look so amazing. And I think, "Blah. What could I even write? I don't do any of that cool stuff." I know, I know, I need to stop thinking that kind of (cover your ears [eyes?] girls) crap. But it sneaks in there.

Cuz here's the thing. My house is NOT immaculate. Nor are my children. I don't even do their hair every day (or sometimes - if you saw them in church today, you'd know - I don't even do it on Sundays...). I don't do hundreds of creative things with them all the time - heck, I barely make it out to the park once in a blue moon because it's so stinking humid. I don't sew, I have baskets FULL of clean laundry that hasn't been folded for I don't know how long, I don't create new recipes for spelt or the wheat grass I've sprouted... okay, maybe I'm taking it a bit too far.

And here's how I'm going to make it all better for myself. I am going to pat my back in front of everyone. I have 2 sweet, well-behaved girls. I take them to the library usually once a week, and they love it. I keep my house much cleaner than I used to. I have a great relationship with my husband, and I never put him down or complain about him to my friends/family. I (feel like I'm scraping for more good stuff, but I'll get there...) teach 7 piano students, and just had a very successful and enjoyable recital over at our house. I have a good start with my 3-month and 1-year food storage, plus 72-hour kits that we never had before this year. Um, I have stopped buying milk, and my kids are totally fine with the powdered stuff (well, Leah stopped drinking milk out of a cup - i.e. will only take it over cereal, or with chocolate - long before I introduced said powder, but she didn't even notice the change over her cereal). I'm pretty jazzed about that one actually. I just feel that much more prepared for the eventual craziness - I tell you, if people were shot over the gas shortage, I can't even begin to think what's going to happen if we can't get milk in the stores... But I digress. I have window coverings on about 3/4 of my windows, about half of which I "created" or sewed myself. And most importantly, I love my family, and I know that they know it.

Sure, there's SO much more I CAN and, really, SHOULD be doing (not in a beating myself up way, but a legitimate acknowledgement of falling short of what I am capable of), but I'm doing okay. So, take that, Mrs. Negative Pants (that's me). You're not so bad. Go ahead and post on your stupid blog, and let others inspire you instead of being a lame-o and letting them get you down.

Posting...

New food storage book to be released

2009-04-14T13:53:00.004-04:00

Hi friends. I am very excited to tell you about a new food storage book that is coming out. It's from the lady who brought us everydayfoodstorage.net, which I 've written about before. I told you that her 100% whole wheat bread recipe has ended my search, and I've since tried the white bread version on the same post. It too is divine, and it will now replace my old favorite recipe - which was delicious as well. So I'm very very excited to try out more of her recipes, and have it all in one place (and not on the computer, just in case of the apocalypse or whatever. :)).

It's available for pre-order on Amazon, which is what I'm planning to do. Thanks for indulging my obsession. It's all I've been thinking about lately.

Incidentally, we're doing well. We had a fantastic Easter up in VA with (almost) the whole Schwartz family.

Food Storage Update

2009-04-07T08:10:00.003-04:00

So I'm still obsessed. Which is good. I am not always the best at seeing a project or goal through to the end, and I'm doing my best to make this an exception. :) I am trying to follow the counsel of Elder Robert D. Hales in the latest conference to be, with my husband, "provident providers."

"Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. We must practice the principles of provident living: Joyfully living within our means, being content with what we have, avoiding excessive debt and diligently saving and preparing for rainy day emergencies."

So far, I've:

put together fairly respectable 72-hour kits that I'm proud of.
I've created a space to hold my food storage. Actually, I've prepared 4 different spaces with shelves since no one space would fit it all, and organized my kitchen to make better use of the cupboard space.
I've started making powdered milk instead of buying it from the store. (And you know what? My kids are FINE with it! And I'm saving so much money! My favorite is Country Cream - I will even guzzle a glass of it and can hardly tell the difference. Really.)
I've learned about using freshly ground wheat flour to make the BEST 100% whole wheat bread. I call this recipe my holy grail - I've been looking for it for forever. You can find the recipe at http://everydayfoodstorage.net/2009/03/11/making-homemade-bread-the-food-storage-recipe-challenge/food-storage-recipes. In fact, this gal's whole blog is AMAZING, and I can't wait to get her book. (If you ever read this, HI CRYSTAL. You're my hero!)
I've learned to use wheat gluten to replace or extend meat. AMAZING! If I'm going to have all this wheat, it's going to be so good to know more than one way to use it. Dani Garrett in my stake is brilliant with this stuff. I want her to write a book. Love ya Dani!
I've purchased my water storage containers, and found a place for them in my garage (which was part of a long garage project that has helped us to finally park in a garage for the first time in many years).
I've almost finished my 3-month food storage list, and have begun purchasing items for it.
I've learned how to use coupons in conjunction with items on sale to get them for almost or completely free (!!!). That's been one of the most exciting things. So now I can stock up on food storage items without busting the budget. (I was actually paid $.20 to take 4 packs of gum out of the store last week!)
I've used my pressure cooker to cook dried black beans - much easier than remembering to soak them the night before. I've started doing some research on ways to reduce gas... .

And there's more, but that's all I can think of now. I don't write this to pat my own back, but to help myself see my accomplishments and keep me going. And I have to give big thanks to my friends at the http://funwithfoodstorage.net/ network. I AM their biggest fan (those are their words), and I just want to spread the excitement. They have been so helpful in getting all of this from my goal/wish list to real life. They've broken it down into small steps and basic concepts, with videos along the way that are SO helpful to this visual learner. I HIGHLY recommend checking them out. I know I have before, but I'm serious this time! :) Jodi and Julie at http://foodstoragemadeeasy.net/ have just made a new ebook that has put all their checklists and recipes and other awesome-ness together in one place. I can't wait to get my hands on it. Check it out here at http://foodstoragemadeeasy.net/2009/04/06/food-storage-binder-giveaway. I'm really excited to get my copy. And happy to finally be able to financially thank them for all their diligent and thorough hard work. :) (Hi Jodi and Jule. You are my other heroes!)

Emergency Preparedness

2009-02-03T13:39:00.003-05:00

I don't think I'm alone in my new obsession. I think with the economic downturn that has affected so many, and certainly touches all of us in one way or another, many of us are finally taking more seriously the council to prepare our families and homes for those hard days that will (or have) come. My New Year's resolution is to get my 72-hour kits, water storage, 3-month food storage, and 1-year food storage supply taken care of. It is an ambitious goal, but I have found a great resource to help. It's foodstoragemadeeasy.net, and they have set up a system to send out bi-weekly checklists that will see us through all of those things in 1 year's time. I have been working on it since the beginning of the year, and am very excited. I would highly recommend that web site, as well as a group they are a part of at funwithfoodstorage.net to everyone. Please check them out.

Anyway, I am so excited about the deals I've found so far through being resourceful and, well, cheap. I've gotten free wire shelves from craigslist. I've gotten a set of 12 very sturdy wooden shelves for $48 from Linens and Things when they were going out of business. I've found really cheap and free water storage containers. I've found killer deals at the REI outlet with an additional 20% off on the day I decided to buy. And I've had other things sitting around the house that can be used in a new way.

So I've decided to take on several new piano students, and money is going toward my goal each month. It's made it so much easier to have that money already set aside - I don't feel like I have to sacrifice other things to purchase these things. I feel like I'm set up to succeed, and I'm really excited. I never thought food storage would be something exciting, but I truly am pumped about it. Weird, I know.

The other day, Leah was saying a blessing on our lunch, and she asked that our family will be able to be prepared for church (?) and for emergencies. I think my exuberance is rubbing off. :) My main concern in all of this is to prepare my kids to be able to handle an emergency without losing it.

So... wish me luck. I'll keep you posted.

Merry Christmas

2008-12-26T00:06:00.006-05:00

Well, it's actually the 26th by now, but I'm still up. Because I got a delicious 3 hour nap today. Bekah slept that whole time as well, and Leah just played and played and played. I'm sure she played some with Daddy, but by the time I work up (6pm), he had fallen asleep too. I tried to rouse him for dinner, but to no avail. He was up very early setting up my wonderful Christmas present (well, one of them).

I'm excited to fill the frames. Thanks baby.

I also got 12 gift certificates for various restaurants, ensuring that I have at least a date a month with my sweetheart. What a perfect gift! (And he got a great deal, which is always a fun gift as well!) Funny thing is, I got him restaurant gift certificates as well. Apparently we both want to spend more time with one another, which is a good sign.

Another favorite gift was from the Curtises. They got me a t-shirt that says "don't make me use my opera voice". LOVE IT!

The girls had a huge time. Their expressions all day long were just priceless. Love those monkeys.

Santa, as well as various friends and relatives, did right by them. Thanks everyone.

And Merry Christmas everyone. Since I'm not in bed yet, it still counts as Christmas.

Can you hold it?

2008-12-15T11:32:00.002-05:00

So we're through the main part of potty training Bekah (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), meaning that she only wears diapers at night now. It's so awesome, and we're so proud. Anyway, last night on our way home from our stake Christmas musical fireside (which was awesome if I do say so), Bekah said from the back seat that she needed to go potty. We were about 5 minutes away from home still, and so we asked if she could hold it in until we got home. She said she could, and so we just punched the gas a bit. I looked back a minute later to check on her and make sure she was holding it okay, and sure enough, I saw her reaching her little hands down under her tiny bum, and holding her bum. She was going to literally hold it in.

And we made it home! That's my big girl!!!

I want Christmas

2008-12-12T09:20:00.002-05:00

It's the 12th of December. Nowhere near close enough to the 25th. Or even the 24th. It isn't snowing. It's just not Christmas-y enough for me right now. Just life as usual. Blah.

I don't know how my kids feel about it. I am realizing that it's probably a grown-up thing that causes Christmas not to feel as much like Christmas as I've come to expect. I wonder if my kids are sugar plum dreaming every night. If they have a little twinkle in their eyes in anticipation of the magic that I can hopefully help to provide them. It's a lot of pressure to create this magic. I know that I'm in charge of creating the memories and nostalgia that they will take comfort in and share with their families in the many years to come. And that's pressure. You know?

Later that same day... (okay, 3 minutes later).

I just asked Leah if she's excited for Christmas. She said, "Yeah! SO excited." "What are you excited about?" "Getting presents!" Okay, so she's getting at least part of the spirit. :) I just remembered in that conversation with her that in years past, I've had the kids do little chores to earn money so they can buy dollar store presents for the family. Forgot to do that this year - I know what we get to do today! Hopefully that'll help it feel more Christmas-y. And I'll play Christmas music while we clean the house! Wow, it's going to be so great!

See how great blogging can be? I just figured out how to solve the problem I was writing about! Maybe I should do it more often.

My kids crack me up

2008-11-24T19:30:00.002-05:00

So I have to write these adorable things down before I forget them forever. I've done that way too many times, and am in the process of kicking myself for it.

Today, we were visiting my dear friend Alisa for the morning, and when it came time to leave, I was encouraging the girls to hurry and get ready by telling them that we were going to go get some lunch. During the process, I asked Rebekah where she wanted to go get lunch, and she walked over to Alisa's kitchen and said, "From the fridge."

Then, a few months ago, Leah told me about a dream she'd had the night before. She mentioned some details, then said that Jesus was in her dream. I thought that was pretty wonderful, and wanted to get some more information - kind of see what my little girl's spiritual perspective was. So I asked her, "Wow, Jesus was there? How did you feel when you saw Jesus?" She answered, "Surprised."

2008-11-01T22:05:00.018-04:00

Okay, so it's been WAY too long, and I figure it's about time to come out of hiding. So in short, here's what happened between last entry and now:

Moved into the house. Unpacked the house. Decorated the house. Had a "Redneck BBQ" at the house - High Priest Group social, for which we finished unpacking (read: stuck rest of boxes in garage...) and decorating. (bad picture, but gives you an idea...)(Too busy hosting to take pictures of the BBQ - but it was our first official party in our house where we have enough room to do such things!)

Did more decorating (it's a project that will never be done). Frank brought me flowers just 'cuz. Love him.Signed up on Facebook. Wasted way too much time.

Got a beautiful new patio on trade for some work Frank's going to do. (Before)(After)Had Halloween. Ate too much candy.

So, that's the last 4 months in a tidy little nutshell. Some other things thrown in the mix that don't bear mentioning. Pretty exciting. Oh, and some more decorating.The end. Whew!

Lots going on

2008-07-13T20:32:00.004-04:00

Well, first of all, we are 9 days away from closing on our new home. We are beside ourselves really. It's simply flown by. And we are (wait for it...) still friends with the Curtises!!! In fact, there are many things that we will truly miss once we move out. Now that's a strong relationship! Thanks Curtises. We love you guys!

So, in honor of 9 days, here's a picture of the almost finished outside of our home. The shutters and door will be painted this week - a dark burgandy-ish brown.

And on to the 4th of July. We had a blast. I would re-create it every year. First of all, we went over to the stake center for a fireside/potluck, where a couple spoke about their experience with him being over in Afghanistan. It made me truly appreciate the sacrifice it is for them and their families, and it humbled me to know that there are so many of them out there, giving all they have so that my family can enjoy what we have. It really put a face to the whole thing. Thank you, Brother Whose Name I Can't Remember, and your wonderful family.

After that, we went to the Curtis' ward party, which meets in South Carolina, where fireworks are completely legal. They put together a fund from donations from ward members (not intended to be an official ward function, mind you), and bought enough fireworks for about a 30 minute show. It was so awesome. One of the best fireworks shows outside of Stadium of Fire that I've seen. AND it was the girls' first fireworks show. They've always been too little to stay up that late, so this was the big one. Once the show got started, Leah said, "Oh, so that's what real fireworks are like!" Bekah clung to me for dear life for the first several, but once she realized that they weren't going to hurt her, she really enjoyed it. I tell you, fireworks will always be cool, but it's like Christmas. It's best when you're a kid, and again when you get to share it with your kids. Leah decided that it was the best day ever. And I tell you, one Mormon potluck after another... never having to cook all day... it was heaven!

They had a sprinkler out on the lawn at the church, and the kids, well, you can tell from the pictures that they loved it. And it was so warm that evening that by the time we got in the car, they'd completely dried off. But not so hot to be uncomfortable. And no bugs ate us. I mean, could it have been more perfect?!

Happy (belated) 4th everyone!

For the record...

2008-07-12T23:00:00.006-04:00

Dear World,
Just so you know, THIS... ...is what I look like when I'm pregnant. Since I do not currently look like this, you should kindly assume that I am NOT currently pregnant, and you should refrain from asking me if I am.

Thank you.

Our Crazy Leah (years 1&2)

2008-07-12T08:49:00.004-04:00

This is put together from the video I took with my little digital camera (i.e. only 13 seconds of video at a time). Once I figure out how to upload the video from my video camera, we'll have some real fun. Anyway, Leah's always been a lot of fun to watch, and I hope you enjoy some choice moments.

Make me cry...

2008-06-29T08:10:00.002-04:00

So last night Bekah was saying her prayers. She's just learning to (and insisting upon) saying them by herself. Well, we usually get things about dinosaurs and bandaids, but last night was precious. She was kneeling next to me, and went into the whole "Thank thee for Unka Chad, and Aunt Linda, and Wes (the Curtises), and Dad, and Leah, and Dad, and Mommy - she's my best friend..." And then she starts patting my arm and rubbing it with her sweet little hand. And then she said, "She's a good sister." Well, A+ for effort. :) Yes, there were tears. What a sweet moment.

And then this morning she woke up, and since we're all sleeping in the same room right now, came up into the bed with me and said she wanted to snuggle. What was I supposed to do? NOT snuggle?! I love those little moments.

PS We have wood flooring and chandeliers...

Home Sweet Home and Ice Cream

2008-06-23T23:06:00.012-04:00

First of all, yes. Yes, my children have lost their minds. Leah actually took this first picture. It's probably the first one she took where there was an actual subject IN the photo. Go Leah.

Second of all, YAY house!!! It's coming along so quickly now, and it SO much fun to see it come together (right now... over me...).

We are so excited to have an actual dining room, so we can have actual guests over, and actually NOT have to move the kitchen table into the other room and squeeze between the piano and desk. Nothing says "welcome to our home" like, "here, you can either sit here on the piano bench, or next to the toddler - just watch out, she spits... or throws, or any number of things..." Now if we can just find a dining room table...

Oh, you wonderful cabinets that will be big enough and plentiful enough to hold all my junk so I don't have to keep kitchen things in the laundry or garage... I love you cabinets!

And other than that, I have to report that I have a new favorite ice cream, and I want to thank the good people at Harris Teeter for giving it to me BOGO every once in a while. Or maybe I should be cursing them... It is Blue Bunny Super Chunky Cookie Dough. Oh. my. word. It's so good. I've always been a fan of the cookie dough in the ice cream, but this one takes it to some sort of nirvana-esque level. If you can get Blue Bunny where you live, and they have a BOGO sale, do yourself a terrible favor, and gain a new addiction in your life. Your thighs will thank me! You know they were feeling neglected...

and finally...

2008-06-08T08:08:00.005-04:00

I have finally uploaded my pictures from my camera, so here's about where we are with the house (actually, we now have full siding, and I didn't have my camera last time we were there, so imagine this, except with siding... oh, and windows).

I LOVE this movie

2008-06-02T10:33:00.001-04:00

Randomness

2008-05-25T20:59:00.006-04:00

Hi world. Hope you are well. It's been a really long time since I've written, so I am going to skim some happenings to catch up. Nothing too in depth. Pretty boring stuff. You can skip this one if you want to.

We had our first walk-through of the house yesterday, to tell them where we want the cable and phone things to go. It was SOOOOOOOO much fun. I think building a house is one of the most exciting things. Our house in GA was new, and we got to pick all the colors and stuff, but we were living in UT while they finished it up, and we moved in with it already finished. It was cool, but simply cannot compare to being able to drive there 3 or 4 times a week and see what's been done. We are thoroughly pumped. This week they will put up the drywall, after which they will probably be able to give us a fairly solid move-in date. YAY!!!

I have pictures, but they're still on my camera, and the camera is in the car, and I'm in my jammies. That's not about to change, so you'll have to wait till next time. Sorry. I do have a fantastic picture of my sweet family that my mother-in-law took when they came with us to see the model home.

So, our realtor is a great guy, and we've referred a couple of friends from the ward to him. He's started asking questions about what makes us Mormons different. Frank's spoken with him on numerous occasions about the church, and he finally said, "Rich, why don't you just come and see?" Rich replied that if I were to sing in church, he'd come. Frank said he was sure that could be arranged. So today, I sang in church, and Rich was there with his wife. I spoke with him afterwards, and he liked it. He said that at this point in his life (he's probably in his late 50s), he's looking for the right place for him. He was raised Catholic, but is starting to disagree with some of the things that they teach. So he said that he's been asking a lot of questions, and that he went on the web site to order a copy of the Book of Mormon... Whoah! I didn't know he was that serious about it! Anyway, he said how he was amazed that the next day, two sister missionaries knocked on his door. He said that they were the nicest people he'd met, and that he just felt like he wanted to give them a hug. He wasn't able to have them in then, but was very apologetic and told them that he'd give them a call later on in the week. How about that?! I was so excited to hear about that. We will be adding him to our prayers. Not only does he need the true gospel, but he'd fit in so well in our ward. Oh wait, he'd not be in our ward because he lives in a neighboring city. Well, I'm sure the Mint Hill ward is a good one too.

Anywho, so I mentioned that I sang in church. Well, since it is Memorial Day weekend, I was asked to sing something patriotic. I found a really nice arrangement of the Star-Spangled Banner, so I sang that. It started out just fine, but then a couple stood up. Another couple on the other side of the chapel joined them, and then the bishop stood, which prompted the rest of the ward to stand. This all took place in about the first line and a half. The spirit really hit me, and I was humbled to have everyone standing there for this great song, and, I don't know, intimidiated? a little. It was just pretty powerful, not to mention unexpected, and it threw me off pretty good. I started crying while I sang, so those first two lines were, um, not so good. I don't remember ever having cried while singing solo before. It was interesting to try to recover from. Anyway, I did recover, and it ended up being a cool experience. I love when music brings the spirit into a meeting very powerfully, and it was neat to be able to facilitate and take part in that this time.

Well, my brain is shutting itself off for the night, and who am I to resist? It's been nice chattin' at ya. Happy Memorial Day everyone. And to all a good night.

ENLIGHTENED

2008-04-28T09:11:00.001-04:00

Something my sisters were discussing reminded me of a moment of clarity I had a while back, and I wanted to share. It's probably about time I remind myself again...

I had a long talk with Frank several months back as I was melting down over all the perceived pressures to be so much more than I am. One of the "ah-hah" moments that occured during the conversation was that I've always tried to make goals or schedules or whatever based on what I perceive are the things I need to do to be better. But I get so easily overwhelmed because the list stretches out soooooo long. Frank suggested that I needed to have the Holy Ghost as a partner to help me not run faster than I have strength, but to help me decide what baby step I need to take first. Heavenly Father knows better what I'm able to accomplish at what time, and the things that are more important than others to be focusing on at any given time. It was kind of a "duh" moment too. I guess I just always thought I'm well aware of my shortcomings, and could I just get over them already?! That's what Heavenly Father expects of me, so I'll just ask for help to be better. But I didn't break it down enough to ask for specific help. So the laundry list simply overwhelmed me, and I quit. And I also realized that things like being better at keeping the house clean are ABSULOTELY important to Heavenly Father, because it makes me feel better about myself, and when I feel that way, I'm able to feel the spirit more easily. It's all interconnected. So I can go ahead and ask for help to keep my kitchen clean, or have the energy to get up early to go walking, or whatever. He wants to help me with things that help me be a better person, even if it's not "exactly" spiritual.

So, Frank suggested that I needed to pray to decide on ONE thing ONLY that I could begin working on, and then make that a habit. The one I decided on was to keep the dishes cleaned up as I go - i.e. don't leave dishes in the sink until tomorrow morning, but take the 5 minutes after dinner while Frank's getting the girls ready for bed. I am pleased to say that I've done SO much better at it, and I have felt so much better about myself in the process. Of course, that laundry list yells at me pretty loudly at times, but I know the way to cut it down to size now. With help! Thanks for helping me understand that, wonderful husband!

cute kids

2008-04-27T22:55:00.003-04:00

Leah had her first talk in primary today, and she was SO excited. Well, she was supposed to have one a couple of months ago, and since I'd packed my brain away in a box, I forgot. So ever since then, Leah'd been asking when she'd have a turn again. Well, she finally got her shot. Frank helped her with the whole thing. It was about following the prophet, so he had her talk about how the people who followed Noah were kept safe. And the same happens when we follow the prophet today... You get the point. So he had her draw a picture of Noah and the ark (I'll have to scan it tomorrow to show you). It was truly awesome. Noah was there in the ark, along with the big steering wheel. There was a giraffe, a couple of mermaids and a princess, a bad guy drowning, but he had a smile on his face because he changed his mind to be a good guy... So Frank had her explain her picture to everyone, and she spoke so clearly for everyone to hear (after a one-time reminder to speak up from Dad). He then asked her why she had drawn the picture, hoping that she'd say something like, "to show how the people who followed the prophet were kept safe...", but she said, "because you told me to." I so love that kid! She did a great job, and I was very proud of her.

She's become a big fan of praying lately, which is cool. Today as we were leaving church, she said that they had forgotten to say the closing prayer in her class, so she said "I'll just say one here in the car real quick."

And again a couple of nights ago, we got home and were getting in jammies. Wait, let me provide a little background before this: a couple of nights before, she had gotten her new Tinker Bell jammies soaking wet somehow (I guess it was because she put them down in the sink when she was going potty, and maybe left them in there when she washed her hands). Anyway, this was to be her first chance to wear the new jammies, so she put them on regardless of the wetness. I discovered this and told her to take them off so I could throw them in the dryer for a few minutes. Well, all Hades broke loose. No amount of me telling her that it would only be for a couple of minutes, that she would still be able to wear them, would console her. So she got threatened that if she didn't stop throwing a fit, she'd not be able to wear them at all that night. Well, she kept it up, so I had to stick to my guns and tell her that she could have the chance to wear them the next night, but that she'd lost her opportunity for that night. So, back to the story... As she's getting ready for bed, I heard just the end of a very quiet prayer she was saying to herself, and asked what she'd been praying about. She told me that she'd seen that the jammies shirt was a little dirty, so she prayed that it would come clean so that it wouldn't have to go in the dryer again. And I never did see that it was dirty at all, so maybe that kid's faith is strong enough to have gotten her shirt miraculously clean. So sweet. She also prays every time she has an ow-ie now so that it can get feeling better, and she knows that it doesn't always get feeling better right away. I think we could all take a lesson from such simple faith. What a kid.

GIVE ME STRENGTH

2008-04-18T07:54:00.003-04:00

So I was in the middle of cooking dinner last night, and Bekah came to me with my deodorant in hand, and said, "It's yucky, mommy," and there were little teeth marks in the top. Oh child. So I look on the label, and of course it says if swallowed, call poison control immediately. Great. Well, my first official poison control call went well. The lady actually chuckled a bit when I told her, and one thinks that she must've known a couple of two-year-olds in her time. So we get Bekah to drink a little water, make sure that she hears us say never to do that again - about 14 times (during one of which she grabs for some of Leah's medicine with a twinkle in her eye, and has to get a little hand slap), and we go back to our lives...

Finish with dinner prep, go do retrieve the girls for dinner time, and find Bekah in my bedroom eating a cough drop. Oh my gosh child!!! Do I need to hogtie you?! Don't think I won't!

With Leah, we told her once, MAYBE twice about something to remind her, and she'd never even think of doing it again. Early on, we had adopted the philosophy of not baby-proofing your house, but house-proofing your baby - setting limits and then expecting them to comply. That just doesn't quite compute with Thing Two. But I'm still sold on the philosophy, and am determined to get through her devious little skull. We just have to up the discipline ante. So I'm steeling myself for being mean mom for the next, well, however long it takes. And if that doesn't work, some traveling gypsy troop is... no, that's not even nice.

And Leah... she's getting moody. And bedtime is a major struggle lately. (Just so we don't all think that Leah never does anything wrong...) But there's no good story related to that, so that's all I'll say about that. But her tummy STILL hurts! And mostly when she's in time out, or needing to go to bed and she doesn't want to. So while she's not one to make up symptoms - she's always been very honest - she IS one to be a bit on the dramatic side at times... All the same, it's been 3 weeks, and I guess I need to call the doc again today. I'm guessing she may be stressed from the move or something.

I tell you, I've been really blessed. I haven't totally lost it during this whole thing. I mean, moving's bad enough, but we had Frank and the girls sick for 2 weeks, Frank working like a crazy man, I lost my wallet (didn't mention that...), Bekah's pushing all of her limits, Leah's stressing out and being cranky to the max... and I've been able to keep it together. AND (knock on wood) I never got sick. I sure was sick OF the smell of puke, but that's normal... So I'm thankful. No asylum for me.................. yet.

STILL TIRED... zzz...zzzz...

2008-04-03T08:31:00.004-04:00

Well, it's almost a week since we closed on our house. We've been living with the Curtises for a full week now, and in that time, the kids have thrown up 12 times (or so), Bekah's had diarrhea for 3 days, (think poop on my arm and dripping on their carpet), and Leah's been constipated, so her stomach still hurts. Chad (the Curtis dad) suggested that we try giving Leah a fish oil pill to help things, um, slide out easier. Well, we tried that yesterday, and then during her quiet time, she made a trip to the bathroom. I asked her how it went, and she told me that "a big poop came SHOOTING out into the potty" complete with a swooshing hand motion. Priceless. Her tummy still hurts a bit today, so we're going to do another pill. So all that's going on, and Frank's been slammed with projects, so the girls have been sleeping in our room since he's been working into the night in the office, which is the girls' room. So between all that, and trying to keep everything picked up all the time since it's not our house (and honestly, it's a good habit for me to try to get into - I'm not the best house keeper in the world), I'm a bit exhausted and approaching overwhelmed. But the girls seem to be feeling a bit better today, so maybe we're on the way out of the woods.

Gosh, this blog is not intended to just be a laundry list of complaints. I just realized that I've done a lot of complaining so far. Well, let's put a positive note out there. We had our pre-construction meeting for our house yesterday, and the builder project manager told us that we're looking at a late June end date, possibly earlier. We're SOOOOO excited. It was awesome to walk through the model again and plan out where we're going to place furniture, etc. We've actually been so blessed through this whole process. Our house sold in 19 days, which in such a tough market right now is remarkable. We weren't prepared when we started this process to have to come up with a 5% down payment, but, as I mentioned, Frank has been slammed with work lately, which, while hard for all of us in some ways, means that we've been able to make that 5%. It's quite amazing how the Lord opens up the way for you sometimes. We really feel like this is what we're supposed to be doing, and He just seems to be removing obstacles left and right. I'm so very thankful.

So I took the girls to the library yesterday for some books, and I checked out several books on window treatments. I've fallen asleep almost every night thinking about how we're going to decorate the house. I can't wait! Oh, here's the virtual tour of a model that's the same floor plan as our new house. The front will be different, but the layout inside will be the same.
http://tour.circlepix.com/tour.htm?id=589411&refurl=by126w.bay126.mail.live.com.

It'll look similar to this on the outside, but with darker siding and dark rock on a good portion of the front and dormer windows above the garage. It's going to look so awesome, and I'm so excited to have that full front porch. So very southern. :)

Okay, the kids are needing my attention. Fortunately not because poop is dripping anywhere this time. Just could use some interaction. I think I can handle that today... :)

a short tribute

2008-03-29T22:18:00.005-04:00

Goodbye old house. Even though you are next to crazy people (I'll get into that sometime), we love you. We will miss you. You hold a lot of great memories for our little family, and you'll always have a special place in our hearts. It was hard to drive up to you the other day, where you still held all our stuff, and to see that big truck parked in front of you. It felt very real at that point, and that reality didn't feel good at that point in time. But we took our stuff out of you, and left you empty and (mostly) clean. And now you're someone else's. We hope he loves you and builds memories for himself and maybe his future little family. Take care of them as you did so well for us.

We love you.

For as long as it's still up, you can go and see the virtual tour of our sweet little house at this address: http://www.8132parkvistacircle.com/. Otherwise, here's a picture. This is the way it looked when we first fell in love with it.

And here's my favorite picture of the inside:

I'M TIRED

2008-03-29T20:22:00.004-04:00

So the move is done - for now. The new house will be finished within 3 months, if all goes as planned (cross your fingers with me). We finished moving out and cleaning up around 1:45 am Friday morning, then fell into bed at the Curtises at about 2:15. Too bad our kids haven't figured out how to sleep in yet. 7:30 came at its usual time, and we were not too happy. BUT, we got through closing, came away with money in hand for the first time EVER when selling a house, and we're done. So our clothes and toys are here with us, while the rest of our stuff is being stored in the unfinished basement of WONDERFUL people in our ward. I owe so many people so much. They've all been so amazing. People called and offered help with the moving, with the kids, meals, help with singing time on Sunday, etc. We were overwhelmed. Everyone we asked for help was glad to do it. And the ones that came and offered without being asked just blew us away. It was truly a wonderful experience (as much as moving ever can me), and it helped me see what true service looks like. I feel like every hard thing in my life just prepares me to help people better when they go through their hard times. Heck, we all have 'em, so let's just all come together and share the burden. I guess that's the whole idea... I'm just now starting to understand it better.

So, we got settled. Had the "who cooks dinner which nights" discussion (yay! I don't have to cook every night!!! And Chad is the main cook at the Curtises, and he actually enjoys it and is GOOD at it. I am going to eat very well, and learn a few things in the process!!!). Were getting ready to go sleepy-bye, and we hear Leah calling out from her room/the office. We go check her out, and there's barf everywhere. Well, rush to the tub, quiet Bekah, change the blankets/pillow, get Leah back into bed, turn on the monitor just in case this happens again. Sure enough, 5:30, and she's yacking again. And on and off for the rest of the morning. Frank stayed with her while I took Bekah down with me to our bed and tried to get some more sleep for both of us. Bekah, I know you think you're cute, but NOTHING'S cute at 6:30 in the morning. Go to sleep! She kept patting my face and stuff. Finally she fell back to sleep for a tiny bit, and when I woke up again, she had a pair of Leah's shoes on, so who knows how long she'd been up. I absolutlely cannot believe I slept through any of that. Well, yeah I can. I was exhausted. Light sleeper or not, my body just took over. Sleep it is. Well, we all took naps this afternoon, Bekah and I for 4 hours (!). Oh, and Bekah threw up too before naptime, but it was just the one time.

Anyway, I'm holding up remarkably well, but my sub-conscious mind is more than likely storing up all bits of stress and upset and tiredness, and it will likely blow up eventually. Just be warned world. I love you, and I apologize in advance, but I will likely have some fragile days coming. Oh well, it'll be over soon. We'll settle into a new routine for our new temporary home, the kids will get better, Bekah won't be 2 forever (right?), and it'll be okay.

I will say, the kids have been sleeping together in the same bed - the Curtises pull-out bed from the couch - for the first time ever, and they're doing great! They have been going right to sleep at night, and there's been no fighting, or even talking after lights out. This is great, especially since we broke the crib in the move (sad!), and Bekah will be in a big girl bed once we get to the new house. This is a great way to get her used to it. I think she'll do just fine.

Okay, my brain is shutting down, and I am going to go see what I can do to clean up some vomit-crusted blankets, jammies, pillows, sheets, etc. I know, you wish you could trade me places. Well, it's a glamorous life, but someone has to live it.

Bekah's haircut

2008-03-24T17:37:00.005-04:00

So I have to brag on myself. I was getting fed up with Rebekah's hair a while back, and decided to cut it. So I looked up some pictures of different styles that would look good on a little girl, and fell in love with the bob. So I studied said pictures a bit, and WENT FOR IT! And I am really proud of how it turned out. It needs to be trimmed a bit so it can be left down for the cute a-line thing, but here's how it looks right now pulled up a bit (besides, the bangs don't get as much food in them when they're pulled up...).

Ooh, I LOVE that kid!!! (And we gotta get rid of that thumb...)

Easter eggs! and "Mom, there's a bug on that one"

2008-03-24T17:17:00.006-04:00

So, this will highlight the difference between my 2 daughters, Leah (4) and Rebekah (2). At the church Easter egg hunt on Saturday, Bekah jumped right in and found about 15 eggs, including ones in the middle of bushes. Leah took her time, and each one she picked up had to be brushed free of dirt before she put it in her basket. I pointed one out to her, as all you parents know how to do, and she refused that one because it had a bug on it. Yeah, I didn't see it happen, but imagine that Bekah was somewhere in the bushes EATING the bugs. Anyway, Leah did end up getting 9 eggs, and she was very happy with that. Mind you, there were eggs EVERYWHERE, and they were limited to 20 apiece...

The same thing happened with their first birthday cakes. Bekah finally cried when she got the frosting in her eyes, while Leah picked at the frosting on the edge until I went and got her a fork to feed her with.

It's so interesting to see how they can be SOOOO different, even when they look so alike. I do have people ask me in the store all the time if they're twins. We don't think they look that much alike, but then we're around them all the time. So, here are a couple of my favorite "twins" photos.

Leah

Bekah

Oh, before I forget...

2008-03-23T22:27:00.004-04:00

I need to write this down before I forget it. The other day, Leah was saying her bedtime prayer, and she said, "Please bless that the food mommy makes won't ever be yucky."

I mean, I TRIED not to laugh... And Leah's still not too great at keeping eyes closed, so she totally saw me smirk and try to bite my toungue... off. So I was busted. And you know when a kid gets a laugh out of you... So I'm just imagining more prayers about my cooking. Now mind you, it's all pleasing (or at very least acceptable) to the adult palate, but Leah's a bit of a picky eater.

So here's a picture of Leah so you can put a face to such lovely sentiment.

Things I'm learning about myself

2008-03-23T20:39:00.004-04:00

We are in the process of moving. We sold our house about a month ago, and decided on the house we're building a week ago. So, we're going to be staying with friends (hopefully they'll continue to call us that when this is all said and done) for 3 months - thank you Chad and Linda for opening your home!

Anyway, we had to pack up a bunch of stuff and "depersonalize our home" before we listed it. That meant clearing out all pictures of family and Jesus and the likes, so when someone came to see the house, they would imagine their family pictures on the wall, not get caught up in, "what an absolutely amazingly gorgeous family!!!" and the likes. So, I went about changing out all personal decor, and everything I replaced it with had something to do with nature. It wasn't really intentional either. I put up a bunch of pictures I'd taken of things that I found to be beautiful. I placed more flowers around. As I looked around the new version of our decor, I realized that finding beauty in this world has always been very important to me. I have lots of pictures of things outside that I think are amazing. I would love to take a photography course and learn how to truly make the pictures as beautiful as what I see. So I'm going to dig up some of my favorite pictures and post them. Some are ones I've taken, others are ones I've found that I think are amazing. (It'll be pretty easy to tell which is which.)

But it just drew my attention to the fact that I think this world is full of so much beauty. I have always LOVED sunsets. I would probably enjoy sunrises as well, but that part of the day never seems quite as lovely to me unless I'm tucked in bed and still dreaming. Some of my favorite places are snow-covered Timpanogos, esp early evening when the sun is beginning to set and it casts a pink glow on the snow. I love driving through winding roads in the middle of the fall. My two favorite places to drive are the Alpine Loop in Utah, and on I-77 up to Blacksburg, VA. There is this one section of the drive up to VA where you're basically driving on the side of the mountain, and to your right, it opens to the most glorious panoramic vistas you'll ever want to see. And in fall... oh my goodness. Frank's always driven on that stretch of the trip, so I've been able to just allow myself to be mesmerized. I would definitely be a road hazard if I were to drive it. It just about takes my breath away. I'll find a picture of that too. Oh yeah, after some searching, I remembered it's called Fancy Gap. It sure is fancy.

Actually, none of the pictures I like that I've taken are on my computer - and the ones I do have can't hold a candle to these, so I'll post more once I've had a photography class or two... Just kidding. It's all about the process.

I think retirement bliss for me will include traveling around with an expensive camera all over the world, off the beaten path, trying to capture the beautiful things around me. And hanging out with Frank along the way - what could be better?

Take one...

2008-03-22T12:27:00.001-04:00

I've just finished reading several family members' blogs, and, in true lemming form, I am running headlong off that same cliff. Hope there's down comforters at the bottom. Or at least chocolate. Or maybe just the rest of my family, and we can just hang out and eat said chocolate... Okay, sounds pretty good... And... jump!

Wow, it's not quite what I expected... Huh. Interesting. Kinda full of boxes and laundry. Wait a second, this is my house. What am I doing back here? I thought this was supposed to be an escape. OH... in my MIND. OH!

...

Well, the pressing sounds of kids finishing tuna sandwiches (and the knowledge that tuna will only last them so long...), the pressing sights of aforementioned boxes and laundry (in process of moving - more about that later), the pressing to-do list screaming at my conscious and sub-conscious beings (yeah, I'm stressed even when I'm NOT thinking about it)... These are things from which I am trying to escape. If only for a few moments.

And other than escaping, I'm hoping to learn more about myself through this process. I think more when I'm writing. It helps me process things. It helps me connect to my inner self. Also, the leaders of our church have been encouraging me (well, all of us) to keep a journal for as long as I can remember. And I think this might be a more effective way for me to do that. After all, my one-third filled journal I got when I was 5, the journal from my mission, and a handful of printed-out emails from me (after I wrote the email, I thought, "Man, I should remember those things...") aren't quite up to par as far as I'm concerned. But that's a malady I'm trying to overcome - both by doing something about it, and by not troubling myself so much about the many perceived sub-pars of my life.

So, profound it may NOT be. Funny at times, whiny at others, random stream of consiousness with no clear sense of direction at most times it WILL be. So, welcome to the inner workings of my mind - I know, it's kinda cluttered in here. Well, hopefully I'll be able to do some spring cleaning in the process... Enjoy your stay.